WHY ESPN SUCKS...

Anyone who has had any contact with me probably knows that I am a big sports fan. I have an appreciation for pretty much any sport and league you could possibly imagine (with the exception of the NBA and college football). To illustrate this point I can tell you that in one week I have watched a full college basketball game, listened to the NFC championship game on the radio (at my wife’s tennis match), and I even watched a full set of the Martina Hingis/Kim Clijsters tennis match last night (not to mention I made sure to check the Anchorage Daily News Sports section to see who won the match). One would logically assume that I must watch an inordinate amount of ESPN and Sportscenter. However, that is not the case. I can proudly tell you that in the last week even though I have only watched American Idol for 20 minutes, that is more than I have watched ESPN in the last month.*
Like most men my age that have a working penis I was raised watching Sportscenter. I can remember summer nights in high school staying up until 2 am watching a Sportscenter rerun for the third time in a day. Even back when I was 12 I knew that Keith Olbermann (see video below) was the coolest dude around (little did I know that he would only get cooler over time). In the last few years ESPN began to change. It wasn’t overnight and it wasn’t obvious, but it was changing. Below are my reasons why ESPN/Sportscenter suck:
• ESPN is owned by Disney. Disney is fine for making cartoons and roller coasters, but for running a sports network? How far will Disney’s tentacles reach out? Will Dick Viatle be announcing games with Donald Duck in the booth? Obviously that is a far stretch, but when you look at some of the other cartoon characters that ESPN has put on their shows (Steven A. Smith, Skip Bayless, Jay Mariotti) it isn’t that far off an idea.
• Terrible Original Programming: ESPN’s daytime lineup is very similar to the other major networks anymore with shows that are very similar to Soap Operas and women’s gossip talkshows. Cold Pizza, Around the Horn, and Pardon the Interruption are basically the same thing as The View, but for men. In fact, I think Rosie O’donnell might have more sports credentials than most of the talentless hacks that hose shows on ESPN. After all at least she has played the role of a professional athlete in a movie (A League of Their Own) , which is more than most of the dudes on ESPN can boast.
• Finally, I don’t care about Terrell Owens, Barry Bonds, any Boston sports team, or the Yankees. These are the topics that ESPN seems to cover 97% of the time.
For those of you that have read the above and still don't believe me that ESPN is terrible and has "sold out" long ago, just watch this video of a Cold Pizza episode. Man oh man:


*I don't count the amount of time I watch actual sporting events on ESPN, b/c it's not my fault a game or match is shown only on ESPN.